10 Best Cars for Santa Claus

2017 Lincoln Navigator with Santa

Santa Claus has been delivering presents by reindeer-propelled sleigh for hundreds of years now, and we here at Autobytel think it’s time he considers a more modern ride. After all, he’s worked hard for so many years, so why shouldn’t he relax a little? As a result, we set out to make our own list for Santa, a list of cars to which he could hitch up the sleigh and do Christmas Eve in style. We looked for cars that were fast enough to do the job in one evening, strong enough to pull a sleigh full of presents, light enough to land on a roof, roomy enough to take the reindeer along, and sensible enough that Mrs. Claus will approve. And, of course, they have to be available in red. So, Mr. Kringle, here are our choices. We hope you take this in the spirit we intended, and don’t leave lumps of coal in our stockings.

In any case, enjoy the ride and Happy Holidays from us here at Autobytel! 

The Alfa Romeo Giulia

The Alfa Romeo Giulia is the latest sport-luxury sedan to hit the market, and we think it’s right up Santa’s alley, because it’s good looking, very distinctive, and very, very fast. We think St. Nick is going to want the Quadrifoglio—that’s the one with a 505 horsepower turbocharged V6 engine and all-wheel-drive, enough power to launch Santa from rooftop to 60 MPH in less than four seconds. Its quick-ratio steering makes for big grins behind the wheel, and its handling should amuse Santa plenty as he motors from town to town. That said, the seats are a bit of a tight fit, so Santa might want to think twice about how many plates of cookies he eats.

The Chevrolet Colorado

We expect that Santa would consider a big pickup truck, but if he shows up in a big Ford Super Duty, that sucker is going to drop right through the roof and into the basement. That’s why we recommend the Colorado, Chevy’s new mid-size truck. It’s smaller, lighter, and easier to handle, and will squeeze into places that full-size pickups won’t. But even though it’s a smaller truck, it doesn’t have a small work ethic—equipped with the Duramax diesel engine, it will tow just as much as many full-size half-ton pickups, and it has a long enough range that Santa can hit lots of rooftops before he needs to peel off for fuel. It even has a built-in trailer brake controller, so if Santa’s sleigh has electric brakes, he’s all set!

The Chevrolet Camaro SS

With all the toys Santa makes and gives away, why shouldn’t he get to keep one toy for himself? Our pick is the Chevrolet Camaro SS, which packs a big 455 horsepower V8 and makes a jolly bellow that’ll have Santa grinning from ear to ear and pole to pole. The Camaro’s back seat isn’t very big, so Santa’s going to have to pick just one favorite elf to take along for the ride… Of course, as fast as the Camaro is, he can make a quick run back to the North Pole, let the elves change places, and still be back in time to fill naughty Nathan’s stocking full of coal. Instead of “Ho, ho, ho,” he’ll be shouting “Go, go, go!”

The Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat

Yeah, we didn’t think Mrs. Claus would be too happy about that Camaro idea once she got wind of it, so a Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat. might be a better compromise. After all, it’s got four doors, an automatic transmission, a nice roomy trunk, and a valet mode that lowers the engine power in case the reindeer decide to go joy-riding. How can Mrs. Claus argue with that? Of course, the Hellcat also happens to have the most insane powerplant this side of a runaway nuclear reactor—and if Mrs. Claus questions why Kris needs a 707 horsepower supercharged V8, he can explain that it will allow him to get through his appointed rounds and home to her loving arms as quick as possible. So long as he remembers not to do any burn-outs north of Greenland, she’ll never catch on.

The Lincoln Navigator L

So far, we’ve assumed that Santa Claus wants to work hard and go fast, but what if he’s ready for something a little more luxurious? Then our suggestion would be the Lincoln Navigator L, a posh full-size SUV with all-wheel-drive for winter-weather traction. The Navigator comes with just about every creature comfort known to man, and its twin-turbocharged V6 engine produces faster acceleration than most its V8-powered competitors with better gas mileage (after all, Santa’s budget can’t be entirely unlimited, can it?). We suggest the extended-length L version so that Santa can bring along a bunch of elves and still have room for plenty of presents.

The Mercedes Sprinter Van

It’s pretty hard to match the carrying capacity of Santa’s sleigh, but we bet that if he test drove a Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van, Father Christmas might very well consider trading in runners for rubber tires. The Sprinter is as big as a house, and its fuel-efficient diesel engine means Santa can hit a lot of houses before he needs to stop for motion-lotion. Mercedes even makes a 4x4 version of the Sprinter with a body lift, so he can make his way out of the toy factory even if the elves haven’t shoveled the driveway.

The Range Rover

Not all children who are deserving of presents live in suburban communities with paved roads. There are plenty of well-behaved kids who live in the middle of nowhere, and since the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, Santa’s going to need to do a little off-roading. We recommend the Range Rover: Not only is it one of the most capable SUVs made, it’s also one of the most comfortable, so Santa can relax and enjoy the ride. He can even use the Range Rover’s All-Terrain Progress Control, an off-road cruise-control system that allows the Range Rover to pick its way over tricky terrain while Santa steers with one hand and checks his list (twice) with the other.

The Subaru Outback

We know most of the world dreams of a white Christmas, but when you have to travel the entire world in one night, snowy, treacherous roads can be a real headache (why do you think Santa rigged his sleigh to fly?). That’s why we think Jolly Ol’ St. Nick would be well served by the Subaru Outback—we’re sure if he asks some of the parents in New England what they think of the Outback’s snowy-road abilities, they’ll have plenty of nice things to say. Thanks to all-wheel-drive—standard fit in nearly all Subaru models, not just the Outback—this is an exceptionally stable car on slick roads, and should Santa encounter a green Christmas (hey, they have well-behaved kids in southern California, too!), he’ll find the added dry-weather grip will really help him and the elves make time on those twisty mountain roads.

The Toyota Prius

You may not know this, but Santa Claus is all about going green—in fact, we hear his latest toy factory is LEED certified, and may well be the first zero-landfill manufacturing facility north of Greenland. So why wouldn’t Santa pick an environmentally-friendly ride? After all, reindeer are known for their clean emissions (except for that time when Rudolph got into the oat bran… ugh, that was not a pleasant night for Santa). The Toyota Prius would be an excellent choice for Santa Claus: It has Toyota’s proven Hybrid Synergy Drive up front, roomy seats in the rear, and a big cargo bay out back. Next thing you know, Santa will trade in his red suit for one in green.

The Volvo XC90

Maybe, just maybe, Santa prefers to buy local, and while there aren’t any successful car manufacturers at the North Pole—rumor has it that the elfs once tried to build Santa a car, but the wooden wheels gave a terrible ride—Sweden is pretty darn close. And it just so happens that Sweden makes one of the newest and best luxury SUVs, the Volvo XC90. The XC90 is big and comfortable with plenty of room for presents, and Santa, being a forward-thinking sort of guy, will love the tablet-like touch screen that controls the Volvo’s infotainment system. The Swedes know snow, and we’re sure Santa will appreciate the all-weather grip of the XC90’s all-wheel-drive. Volvo, of course, is synonymous with safety, and that’s important too—while Santa generally doesn’t encounter much traffic on his late-night ride, we want to ensure that the world’s favorite present-deliverer can make his rounds safe and sound.